Do you think dad will be upset if I have Brent’s parents call each other “Kitten” and “Stormy?” I asked my wife and brother as we all ate dinner last week. Kitten and Stormy were terms of endearment my parents used for each other.

The cause of my worry was due to the fact that I feel they never used the terms casually. Yes, these were pet names. But they were sacred terms. It was never something cheap or saccharine. There was meaning behind the names that probably they only understood.

So I waited until the last day of the arch to see how I felt about Brent’s parents. I wanted to try them on first and see if they were worthy of being the fictional characters who took on this particular legacy.

I’ve decided that I really like the Siennas. I’m glad I waited this long to introduce them. I look forward to writing about them more. Brent and Jade are an outlet for expressing my opinions about my own marriage. But Rip and Molly are a wonderful opportunity to explore the unique dynamic I saw in my own parents. They truly don’t make married couples like that any more. It’s just a different time now.

So yes, there is a lot of my parents in Rip and Molly Sienna, but they are fictional characters. I imagine that when they were in their 20’s and 30’s Rip and Molly had some grand adventures. Maybe one day I’ll write about those. I decided today that “Rip” is short for “Ripcord.” I wonder where that name come from?

It’ll be fun to find out with you guys one day :)


Dear Kurt,
— November 4th, 2009

From: Larry Ernst (learnst@wizardent.com)
to: Scott Kurtz

Dear Kurt,

I hope things are well and business is good.

We wrapped up Big Apple Comic Con a couple of weeks ago and are now focused on our 2010 shows.

Our next show is in Toronto in March and then in Anaheim. The Anaheim dates are April 16th-18th. I have attached the form for reserving space in Anaheim and hope you can join us. As you will see, there are no drayage fees.

The celebrity list will grow substantially in the coming weeks but we have confirmed the attendance of Eliza Dushku from Dollhouse.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.

All the best,

Larry

Larry Ernst
Sales Manager
Wizard Entertainment

Dear Larry,

First of all my name is not Kurt. It’s Scott. Scott Kurtz. It’s written right there in the email you just pretended to send me. Not that my name’s important or that you are actually aware of who you’re addressing. I’m a pioneer in my field and a “tastemaker” with a large podium, why would it be important to get my name right? Let’s not dawdle on such mundane details.

Your conventions are total horseshit, so it’s wise to stop branding them with the name Wizard. But no amount of polishing is going to make me want to attended any of the 5 turds your company is going to crap out in 2010, especially when you schedule them against other shows in some bullshit dick measuring contests that serves no other purpose but to fracture an already dying industry that I have nostalgic ties to.

Remember Mike Wieringo? Remember how you guys only cared about him when he was the “hot artist” for a window of time and then you quickly forgot his name despite the fact that he was producing some of the best work of his career on Fantastic Four with Mark Waid? And then remember how after he died you had the balls to name one of your panel rooms the Mike Wieringo room? I will eternally hate everyone associated with your company for that. For eternity. For Jack Kirby’s version of Eternity where the concept is embodied as a giant man made up of the universe. That’s me, hating you for the Mike Wieringo thing. Forever.

Maybe if you cared enough to actually get my name right, or maybe if you cared about creators like the late, great Mike Wieringo beyond what they can do for you THIS FIVE MINUTES, the entire industry wouldn’t all be anticipating your inevitable bankruptcy.

Give Dushku my best. She’s pretty hot and Dollhouse is alright. Otherwise, shove everything else up your ass.

Best.

Scott (Kurt) Kurtz
Cartoonist
www.pvponline.com

p.s. please take of me off the comp list for your retarded super-hero boobs magazine.




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