From: Scott Kurtz
to: Ryan North
Subject: My dick size.

Ryan,

Tried logging into my Project Wonderful account but I didn’t remember my login info. I tried getting my password emailed to me and your system asked “Please answer the secret question: Dick Size.” WTF? did I really make that my secret question? Did I lie or tell the truth? None of my go-to numbers are working.

Ryan, only you can tell me my dick size. Please help me.

My penis waits with bated breath.

P.S. Balls.

Scott Kurtz
Cartoonist
www.pvponline.com
www.halfpixel.com

My father introduced me to Dungeons and Dragons.

His first character was a wizard named Draziw. His second was a wizard named Silverleaf. I remember the drawing he made of Draziw in the little portrait box on the character sheet. When he revealed to us that Draziw was Wizard spelled backwards we all flipped out. We couldn’t believe how clever that was.

Dad brought home the blue box and the red box. He never made it to Advanced D&D but all my friends did. Dad certainly provided a safe haven for playing. D&D lead to Villains and Vigilantes, Gama World, Star Frontiers and Top Secret.

My dad called me today to ask if I knew that Gary Gygax died. “You haven’t posted a comic about it yet.” he mentioned. I knew later in life that Gygax co-created D&D. When I was playing, I was more interested in meeting Bill Willingham and Jeff Dee. These were the artists that inspired me as a kid to draw fantasy art and annoy every single DM that tried to run me through an adventure. I never paid attention to what they were saying. I was too busy trying to draw everyone’s characters. I followed Willingham and Dee over to V&V and never really returned to Dungeons and Dragons.

I heard from a couple people today that Gygax was kind of an ego-maniac. That he stole the thunder of the other creators. I asked a friend in the know if this was true. “Maybe a little” he said. “But remember that mortals never live up to the legends surrounding them.”

Gary Gygax and all the authors, artists and game designers after him have created countless legends that none of them are capable of living up to.

And for that we, the nerds of the earth, thank them.

I was especially proud of today’s Ding!

Yesterday I received a lot of email from fans who felt I had been reticent in my duties as a nerd. Gary Gygax was dead and I had not posted one God damned word about it. Emails were getting more and more upset as the day went on, so simply to quiet the masses, I forced out a post. Shortly afterwards, I received some email from people who felt that my tribute was less than flattering. It was more a tribute to my dad or Jeff Dee than Gary. And why bring up that people considered Gary an egomaniac? Many accused me of being less than sincere.

Well, yeah. I was.

It’s not that Mr. Gygax passing isn’t sad. It’s certainly sad when anyone dies. It’s just that despite everyone’s obvious connection to Dungeons and Dragons, I never felt a connection to Gary Gygax. For most to the time I played Dungeons and Dragons, I had no idea who Gary Gygax was. Of course, once you get older, it’s impossible not to know, especially when you travel in the nerd-centric circles I do. But being TOLD how important someone is, doesn’t mean that you appreciate it. I’m sorry that I was ignorant to that growing up. I’m not sure how to change that or what my penance should be.

I was told, way after the fact, how important Jack Kirby was to comics. I grew up appreciating the art of the people HE inspired, but it wasn’t until many years later that I came to appreciate the work of Jack Kirby myself and only then did I feel any real connection to his work.

For me, Dungeons and Dragons was about my Dad and my friends…not about the authors of the modules we were running without any real true understanding of the rules. It was a legitimate excuse to hang on to the game of “let’s pretend” well beyond the appropriate age. It was an entry point for making our own stories with pictures. For me, it was my entry into making my own comic books.

Is it so wrong that I don’t feel a connection to Gary Gygax? That I don’t feel compelled to draw an Elven Ranger with his hand held across his hearts or an Owl bear with a single tear rolling down his left cheek? I just don’t feel compelled to do that. I’m sorry.

I understand that it’s important to a lot of you guys. I get it. I really do. And I want to respect that. D&D is important to me too. But if I force out some insincerity on your behalf, is that really doing you or Gary Gygax and service?

Sometimes, a moment of silence suffices.