When I discovered that Joel Watson lived in practically the same neighborhood as me I knew we were destined to become strained acquaintances. That is to say we had lunch one day and since then I’ve been too busy or sick to even hang out for a game of Guitar Hero.

Despite all this, Joel was kind enough to produce a hilarious guest strip during my time of illness without prompting. I think this proves once and for all that should we ever become real friends, it will be a one-sided relationship at best.

Why am I destined to hurt the ones I love most?